You've got to be Kidding

You got to be Kidding

Henry Patton pushed his light brown hair out of his eyes as he admired what he had set up. They were on a support road near the fields, a stretch that was almost never used, and everything was just the way he had wanted it since the Terran had come up with the idea.

There was so much to take into consideration. The fact that he had to bring Siv in to it (because Henry was very aware of the need for decorum since humiliation was so bad for Xalteans) for setting up and importing what he needed. Nish Kevet, his Estate Legion Arch Maid, was brought in because she knew how to keep her mouth shut and knew how to route the field crews so the rest of the estate personnel wouldn't stumble onto the road. Both were sworn to secrecy on pain of everything he could do to them. Now, it was just time to wait.

When the woman he was waiting for came around the bend, he had to stop for a moment to admire her. Mistress Maevin Maer was beautiful, and only a fool would not notice that. Her soft but striking features, long black hair, and blue eyes that seemed to rip your very soul apart. Henry had seen many a maid cower in front of her wrath. This time though, they were filled with suspicion, darting around as if she were walking into a trap. It probably didn't help that she was wearing a fitted athletic top and a pair of sports shorts, the fabric a fraction of what she was used to, and she kept tugging at the hem.

“Maevin!” Henry said grinning and walking over to her. Her eyes locked on his though the suspicion lessened seeing him. “Promise. It's not an ambush.”

“Not that I would think you would do that, my master, but you cannot blame me. Siv insisted I wear this because you requested it, and then she refused to tell me why.”

Henry had bought the outfit himself, and Siv had been under strict orders to see that Maevin wore it. Siv herself walked two steps behind, her two-toned strawberry and straw hair catching the sunlight. She gave Henry a very pleasant and conspiratorial smile. The Mistress must have caught on as her head snapped around glaring at the other maid who dropped her head but not her smile.

“What are you plotting?” Maevin growled.

“Siv, if you and Nish could please start what I asked.”

The young woman bowed and hurried off. Henry strode up to his Mistress excitedly and motioned towards the long, empty stretch of packed dirt road with the fields rolling out on either side. In the middle of it was a bicycle.

“What...is that?” Maevin said, her eyes narrowing.

“A bicycle! We talked about it a month ago, remember?” Henry continued gently placing his hand on her arm and leading her toward it.

“You mean the foot powered device that your people use to get around places?”

“Yes! You had mentioned it would be interesting to see, so I had Siv import one from the Earth Alliance.”

“Why?”

“Because I can show you!”

With the ease of someone who grew up using them, Henry threw his leg over the blue bike and began to ride around on it, forgetting how much he loved it as a child. He didn't stay on the road though, going out onto the grass along the edge of the field, pedaling up the embankment and then riding back down it with no hands. God, how much he missed this.

When he came to a stop, the look of sheer consternation on Maevin's face made him wish he had a camera. Kicked down the kickstand, he got off of it with a hop, skip, and sore muscles that weren't used to such things.

“That...is interesting,” Maevin offered. “I can see how useful it would be if powered vehicles aren't present.”

“Your turn!” Henry said grinning. “I'll teach you!”

“No.”

The way she responded was abrupt and final which made Henry only want to laugh. He didn't though. The way she used the word was not the imperious command of a Mistress but that of a child refusing to do something their parent told them to do.

“Oh, come on,” Henry said letting the grin escape. He tugged on her arm, but she refused to budge.

“It would be undignified for me to be on that...thing,” Maevin countered. “And in this.”

“Already thought of that. You told me how much embarrassment and shame is in your culture. That's why I had Siv pick this secluded road, Nish plan today's field routes around it, and put them on guard, so there isn't anyone to stumble in on us.”

Henry gestured to the tall, dense hedgerow that bordered the road, easily twelve feet high. “There is no way anyone would see you and I told Siv that both of them are going to get the cane if anyone sees you.”

Mistress Maevin stared at the metal contraption in front of her, the hesitation still on her face. “If you order me to, I shall do it.”

“But I don't want to order you,” Henry countered. “I want to show my friend. You'd make me happy if you did it.”

Maevin's face twisted for a moment before she relented. “That's worse, Master.”

The woman walked over, staring at the seat and then began to look around.

“What? Something missing?” Henry asked surprised. “I made sure no one was around.”

“I need a cushion for that narrow seat of rubber,” she responded nonplussed.

“Why? I bought the shorts so you'd be comfortable.”

“These are scraps of fabric, my master, and I am not accustomed to wearing anything beneath what I wear. So, unless you plan to massage my legs after, I need a cushion.”

“Cushion it is!”

Henry darted across to the nearest door of the field supply shed, found the smallest cushion workers would use on the bench inside, and came back. He offered it to her with a grin and she glared.

“What?”

“You're enjoying this too much.”

Yes, yes he was.

Laying the cushion down on the seat, Maevin tugged the hem of her shorts down once more, as if that would do anything, and swung her rather flawless leg over and sat down on it. She put one foot to the pedal and wobbled as she tried to lift the other. Henry walked up and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Balance is better if you start moving.”

“I gathered.”

She began to move, and it wobbled again, and before he could think, he stepped forward and held on to her waist. Maevin looked over her shoulder at him but didn't say anything. Henry was quite aware this was closer and more contact than both were used to, especially with so little fabric between his hands and her, but he wasn't going to let his friend fall.

After a few pushes on the pedal, she nodded, and he let her go, watching her ride slowly but with a grace that he hadn't actually expected. It was when she hit the grass that he saw it lurch and her begin to overcompensate. Henry ran over to her, dove, and caught her in his arms before they all tumbled to the ground in a mixture of limbs and bicycle. She was half sitting in his lap, her cheeks and ears bright red.

“That was humiliating,” she groused.

“That's why I kept everyone away,” Henry responded trying to catch his breath and not freak out that there was a woman in his lap leaning up against him also breathing hard. For a moment, they just sat there, her warmth pressed up against him and maybe a bit too long. Both seemed to realize it and began to scramble to their feet.

She brushed the dirt and grass off herself and tugged her top and shorts back into place with as much dignity as the outfit allowed.

“Well, I tried it,” she said with wounded pride.

“It takes a little practice. We can try again tomorrow or—–”

“No.”

That word had a lot more finality than it did last time. Henry laughed.

“Alright, alright. But thanks for trying.”

“You're welcome,” she said, one of those smiles he enjoyed crossing her face, but then it darkened. “If you tell anyone, master, I shall find ways to exact my revenge.”

“Are you threatening me?” Henry said his grin getting bigger.

Her only answer was a little smirk.